


Your Past, My Future

by psychicdreams



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur finds out early, Drama, M/M, Romance, Season 3 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-09 08:53:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10408473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychicdreams/pseuds/psychicdreams
Summary: Merlin hadn't intended to show Arthur his magic, but he had to save the idiot prince. But could their friendship weather the revelations of his magic and his past? And what would Uther do to him?  His life was in Arthur's hands and he didn't know what he was going to do with it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I rather wanted to do a story where Arthur had to keep Merlin's secret. This is a long one-shot that I've decided to break into parts to make it easier reading for people.

Merlin could almost feel the flames that would lick his body as Arthur stared right at him. His eyes flickered to the sword that the prince held up between them and he fearfully stepped back once, only for Arthur to follow. He swallowed heavily, trying to think of anything to say to the sudden rage that was overtaking the shock on the prince’s face. He licked his lips nervously and ran through his options. He could use magic on Arthur to delay him and then run. But he didn’t want to do that; it would only prove to his friend that he was right to be taught that magic was evil.

At the same time, if he stayed, he was risking his own life. Uther would kill him if he knew...and it was seeming an even greater certainty that Arthur would tell him.

It hadn’t been his choice. They had been surrounded by the massive scorpions, and even if Arthur had a sword, it wouldn’t be enough. Their stingers would kill them before he could close in range. One of them he might have chanced letting the prince take care of, but five surrounding them was too much.

“Sorcerer.”

He swallowed heavily and nodded, lowering his arms and trying to appear defenseless. “I had no choice.” At the accusing silence, he added passionately, “You, no _we_ were going to die if I didn’t do something. You’re a knight, you knew those odds just by looking!”

It was so easy to fall back into the ease of arguing with Arthur that he’d stepped forward and the prince reacted quickly, putting the tip of his sword against his throat. Merlin froze. With the cold steel against his neck, he dared not even swallow in case it made a cut. He eased his weight back onto his heels, achingly slowly moving away again.

Arthur didn’t stop him.

“You… I must be stupid to have never seen it.”

Somehow he didn’t think puns would go over well right then, so Merlin ignored the first words on the tip of his tongue. “You’re not stupid, Arthur, I promise. I just learned to hide it really well.”

“Until your life was in danger, you mean.”

“No. Until yours was.” At the skeptical tilt of his head, Merlin sighed. “Arthur, if I wanted to hurt you at all, I could have done so. I haven’t because I don’t want to. I have spent the last three years trying desperately to keep you safe. You just attract trouble more than anyone I have ever met and it’s exhausting sometimes...but I wouldn’t trade it for the world and I would rather burn by Uther’s hand than let you die.”

The sword lowered just a little and the wild-eyed rage seemed to lessen just a little. “You would risk your life for mine?”

“Always have, always will. Remember when you killed the unicorn? I would have drank that potion in an instant, except you tricked me.” Sensing a moment’s flicker of hesitation, he pressed on. “Arthur, magic isn’t evil, it’s just how it’s used.”

Arthur’s eyes widened a little. “The cave.”

“Cave?”

“When you were poisoned. A light helped me, showed me the way out. Was that...you?”

“I kept trying to tell you to leave the plant, just get out, but you wouldn’t. Guess you couldn’t hear me, since I was back in Camelot.” Arthur didn’t smile with him and he rubbed his fingers together nervously, a slight bit of hope filling him that maybe he might just be able to get out of this alive. “If you believe nothing else, Arthur, please believe that I don’t want you dead. Prattish as you are, you’re...my friend.”

The sword lowered further, but there was still a guarded look about the prince. “I hold your life in my hands. You will not ask me to lie to my father?”

The moment of truth. He wanted with every fiber of his being to ask him to be quiet, to not say anything, but he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. “What you tell Uther is up to you. I...hope you won’t tell him, but I’m not going to ask you not to.”

There was a heavy moment of silence between them, pregnant with all the fears Arthur had and Merlin’s desperation. Finally the prince sheathed his sword with a fierce motion. “Back to Camelot. You ride in front.”

Arthur had always trusted him at his back, but as much as it hurt, Merlin knew that his friend would need time to rebuild that trust. If it took riding in front where Arthur could see him, then that was what he would do. So he just swung up onto the horse and headed back to the castle, feeling those blue eyes on his back.

He was sure that the silence would last until they reached Camelot, but Arthur broke it after twenty minutes, much to Merlin’s surprise. “Tell me something, Merlin.”

“What?”

“You keep saying you’ve saved me. What did you save me from, exactly?”

“Well...there’s a lot of things, things you probably weren’t even aware were a threat,” he hedged. “Can you be...more specific?”

Arthur seemed to think about it. “Fine. The dragon that attacked Camelot. I don’t remember actually killing it, or even wounding it. I just have your word for it.”

Oh, he _would_ have to ask about that first. Merlin winced, but sighed. “That’s because you didn’t. Balinor, the last dragonlord. You remember him?”

“Yes. As if I would forget. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before then.”

“He was...my father. I thought he’d been dead and my mother would never speak of him. It was only when we went to find him that I found out. He told me that the gift is passed from father to son. You couldn’t kill Kilgharrah, so...I spoke to him in the dragon tongue and made him stop.”

“Oh, so you’re a dragonlord too?”

Arthur’s voice wasn’t happy in the slightest and he twisted in his saddle to look back at him in concern. “It’s not something that I really wanted to admit, but I’m not going to lie to you.”

“Why stop now?” Before Merlin could argue the point, Arthur continued. “In your village, the windstorm?”

“Will took the blame for me. He was afraid of what you would do if you found out.”

“So he knew.”

“I was a child when I told him, Arthur. Only Mother, Will, and Gaius know about it.”

“I’m not surprised about that last part. I wonder what else Gaius has lied to my father about.”

He swallowed thickly. “Please don’t tell Uther that Gaius knew. I don’t want him to get hurt.”

Arthur watched him quietly at that and at the very least, Merlin didn’t feel as if Gaius’ life was in the balance. “What else have you done?”

Merlin thought about it, deciding that all the smaller times he saved Arthur’s life, such as the tournament with the snakes, was where he should really start. So he began at the beginning of it all, not leaving out any details. When he came to the questing beast and Nimueh, Arthur’s horse came up beside him. He wasn’t sure if the prince did it unconsciously or not.

“I used the cup of life to save your life. It was supposed to be mine that was taken in return.” Arthur’s eyes were dark, fixed on him, and Merlin took in a shaky breath as he continued. “But instead of taking me, it was going to take my mother. I was angry and going to head the Isle of the Blessed again, but Gaius beat me there. He sacrificed himself for my mother and I guess I got a little upset.”

“What happened?”

He had to fight the smile that wanted to come to his lips. Arthur seemed riveted to the tale regardless of how he felt about magic and Merlin right then. “I created a storm and lightning killed Nimueh. The cup of life viewed that as a sacrifice and Gaius was brought back.”

“And with all this sacrificing going on, you’re going to tell me that magic isn’t evil?”

“It isn’t!” he argued passionately, thinking of his long list of achievements for one that would prove magic could be good. “I used magic to save your life when Sophia and Aulfric showed up and enchanted you! They were Sidhe, and they were going to sacrifice your soul to return to Avalon. Or what about Morgause and you speaking to your mother?”

Arthur looked at him sharply. “You said she lied.”

“What else could I say? You wouldn’t listen! You were going to kill Uther!”

“And knowing what he did, you of all people would want him to live?!”

“I don’t care about Uther, Arthur, I care about you!” he argued back. “You were so angry, you didn’t realize that you’d be hurting yourself by killing him! He was, _is_ your father! No matter what he’s done, he loves you and--”

“Enough!” Arthur spat. “So even that was a lie.”

“I heard it all, yes, and I was doing what was best for you. I’ve always done what’s best for you!” Seeing the prince’s jaw tighten, the way that he fumed, Merlin continued, “Arthur, please. What you said was right, absolutely right, back then, but what will killing Uther accomplish? What it will do to you, to kill your father--” Seeing the look on his face, he quickly trampled on, “whether you view him as that or not anymore, would hurt you so badly and you’d spend the rest of your life regretting it. If you really feel that magic is not to be persecuted, then be a better king than he is.”

“And save your life in the process?”

“It’s not about me,” Merlin said sadly. “It’s never been about me, it’s always been about what’s best for you. If I have to die for you, then I will. There’s...just one thing, when I’m gone.”

“Now what?”

“Be careful around Morgana.”

Arthur blinked. “What? Why?”

“She has magic. Morgause was using her as a focus for the undead knights to attack Camelot. She is...not all that seems. Do you remember when Uther seemed to go mad right after she returned? Morgana was doing that, working with Morgause. I know she hates Uther...but I don’t know how she feels about you, so...be careful.”

Arthur seemed to struggle to say something and finally asked, “And how do you know any of that?”

He really didn’t want to say this either, but it was necessary. “Kilgharrah told me that she was being used as a focus and I watched as Morgana left the palace to meet Morgause. They found me and left me to die of the Serket’s poison. If it hadn’t been for Kilgharrah, I’d be dead.”

“So that’s why you were so afraid of them.”

“Not afraid of them, but afraid for you. I felt what they’re capable of and I’ve never been in that much pain in my entire life.” He swallowed thickly. “I’m not asking you to trust me, but I am asking that you believe me.”

The prince shook his head, but Merlin didn’t think that was a pure no. It encouraged him to see Arthur riding next to him, but they were still far apart and there was still a wariness to the way he watched the sorcerer. After that, Arthur didn’t seem interested in further conversation and every time Merlin opened his mouth to say something, he was glared at back to silence.

Honestly, he had hoped Camelot would never come into view, but soon it was rising over them like a threatening shadow. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t attempt to slink off as soon as they were in the lower town. Arthur’s hand was resting on his sword and he didn’t want to chance that the prince might change his mind about whether he was going to skewer him first.

Merlin was not as calm as he appeared to be at the thought of dying and every step they took closer to the throne room felt like daggers going through his feet. As each soldier passed by him, he flinched a little, half expecting to be found out by everyone right there and attacked.

He must have made a little noise as they approached the wooden doors because Arthur looked at him long and hard, but he said nothing. Instead he just gestured for him to follow and strode into the throne room as if he owned it. Uther looked up from some parchment and smiled in relief. Gaius stood next to him and he met the pale eyes of his mentor with significant dread. The physician picked up on it immediately, but when he made to excuse himself and take Merlin with him to find out what it was, Arthur shook his head a little with a piercing look.

“How went the hunt?”

“We ran into a pack of Serket on the outskirts,” Arthur explained, crossing his arms casually.

Uther frowned grimly. “I feared as much when we heard the reports. Did you dispatch them?”

“Yes. They will trouble us no more.”

The king all but beamed with pride. “How did you manage that?”

“Actually, it was Merlin.” It was here that Merlin felt his face drain of blood. Arthur was going to tell Uther. Their friendship, the years of companionship meant nothing-- “He spotted the first one before it found us and I was able to quickly subdue them before they were aware of us.”

What?

Arthur was looking at him then and Uther as well, but their expressions were completely different. Uther looked downright shocked, but Arthur’s seemed to order him to do something. “Really?” the king said skeptically. “Well it would explain why he’s so pale. I’m sure it was quite scary for someone like him.”

“Yes. I’m sure,” Arthur said, voice just short of being expressionless and a tilt of his head.

Merlin finally, belatedly, understood what Arthur was trying to tell him. His reaction to the news had to be explained and easier to say he was shaken from the Serket than the thought Arthur was going to out him as a sorcerer. “Yeah,” he lied faintly. “Never seen anything so scary in my life.”

“Good thing Arthur was there.” Uther turned away, mentally dismissing him and smiling at his son. “Well done.”

“Thank you...father.” There was the faintest of pauses before the word, but Uther didn’t notice. “If that’s all...”

“Quite.”

“Then I hope you don’t mind that I borrow Gaius? I think I might have strained my shoulder in the fight. I’d like him to look at it.”

The sheer smoothness with which the lies came stunned Merlin and when Uther waved them away, Arthur turned and led the way out, gripping Merlin’s elbow tightly and leading the two away. “Not a word yet. The three of us have to talk.”

Merlin mouthed the words ‘he knows’ to Gaius, whose eyes widened but otherwise knew best to keep silent. Arthur all but threw him into Gaius’ chambers, the older man following more serenely and it appeared as if the prince barely restrained himself from slamming the door shut.

“Now that I’ve saved both of your lives for the moment, I suggest you sit down and listen to what I have to say.”

“Your highness--”

“Not a word, Gaius. You knew about his magic and didn’t tell anyone. I say a word to Uther and your life is forfeit too.”

Merlin dropped into a chair faintly. If he’d thought Arthur had calmed down on the ride back to Camelot, he’d clearly been wrong. The prince was still angry as hell, but at the very least, he had kept their secret. He didn’t want Merlin dead yet.

“This is how this is going to work. Anything unusual happens from now on, magic or even something you suspect is magic, you will tell me immediately. Also, not a single spell is cast in this castle without one of you informing me before it’s done. If you want me to keep your secret, I want to know what it is that I have to lie about rather than being blindsided like I was today.”

“Right,” he whispered shakily. It appeared as if Arthur was prepared to keep the secret for the moment. “Um...question.”

Arthur crossed his arms. “What?”

“Sometimes I might not have the time to find you and tell you. Like if the castle is being attacked. Or something.”

“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

A feeling of relief like he had never known before flooded Merlin and he finally smiled. Arthur knew and while he was angry, he had kept the secret. “Thank you, Arthur.”

“Don’t make me regret my decision, Merlin,” Arthur told him darkly. “And don’t think what I did today means that I trust you.”

His smile ebbed a bit, feeling hurt, but he knew that Arthur would need time. He would just have to do everything he could to prove he was still the same person that he was before and nothing was going to change. “I’m still your manservant, right?”

“Well if I suddenly changed that, Uther would notice.” Arthur sighed and ran a gloved hand through his hair. “I can barely believe any of this. And no one else knows about this?”

“No. Well...” he muttered, flinching when Arthur looked at him sharply. “Lancelot knows, but it’s only because he saw me doing a spell to help him defeat the griffin.”

“So that was you too.”

“Sort of. It’s a creature of magic and needed magic to defeat it. I just enchanted his weapon to be able to kill it.”

“What haven’t you done around here?”

Merlin couldn’t help it. He grinned and said, “Mended your socks.”

For a minute, he could see Arthur smile at that before the prince glared at him. “Merlin--”

“Come on, Arthur, I’m still me. You’re still a prat and a clotpole and all other names in the book. I just happen to have magic. It was something I was born with. Nothing has really changed, except now you can see the things I do rather than when I have to hide it.”

“Sire, if I may ask,” Gaius interrupted gently and Arthur’s blue eyes flickered to the physician. “Why did you not tell Uther?”

It was something that Merlin was dying to know and Arthur was angry enough to do it, but he hadn’t. The prince didn’t answer immediately, staring at Merlin as if he might provide the answer. “I don’t really know,” Arthur answered at last. “Everything I’ve been told, the truth, makes sense, more sense than the excuses I heard before. And maybe I’m just a fool, but I have a hard time believing that Merlin, of all people, is evil. But I have been wrong before about a lot of things, apparently, so maybe he is.”

“So you will keep your silence while you decide?”

“For the moment, yes.” The prince sighed. “We’re done here. I have dinner with my...with the king. Merlin, you’re dismissed for the day.”

Merlin stood up quickly as Arthur turned, asking, “Arthur, about Uther...”

His friend paused, but didn’t look back. “What about him?”

He struggled to put his question into words. “You believe Morgause?” he settled on when nothing else seemed to come out coherent in his head.

Arthur’s eyes met his. “You do.”

“Why should it matter if I do…?”

“You wouldn’t lie to me today, at least, if only because one more lie would mean your death. In that, at least, I trust, which means she was telling the truth.”

Merlin flinched a little, but plowed on to see if he had to insist on being there to chaperone the family. “Are you...”

“I don’t know what I’m planning on doing in the future, but I’m not about to kill him right this second.”

He didn’t need to have magic, or even know Arthur very well, to see righteous fury in his eyes, the same he had seen as they had left the Isle of the Blessed, but he didn’t feel concern so much as anguish. If only he had figured out a different way to save him, to keep the prince from learning about his magic, he wouldn’t feel so conflicted. His world wouldn’t have come crashing down on his head like it had and he could only imagine that Arthur was feeling so lost.

Not caring how he might react to it, Merlin strode up and hugged the prince, ignoring the way he stiffened and tried to back away. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re sorry.”

The implied question of ‘what are you sorry about now’ rang loud in his ears as if he’d said it and he squeezed the prince tighter when he seemed on the verge of pushing him away. “I didn’t mean for any of this. I should have figured out some other way to save us. If you didn’t know--”

Arthur pried his arms away, but while his grip was firm, it didn’t hurt and Merlin knew the prince was capable of hurting him quite badly if he chose. “No. This was something I needed to know.”

“But--”

“Merlin, enough! I would rather live with the truth, as much as it hurts, than be happy but oblivious.”

He wanted to protest further, but Arthur’s eyes were warning him not to and his own instincts told him to back down right then, so he did. Arthur had had too much of a shock for one day and he dared not push him any further. So he merely nodded and let his arms drop when he was released and Arthur stalked out.

“That went better than expected.”

Merlin looked at Gaius, wondering if the man had lost his mind. “You weren’t there when he first found out. I thought he was going to behead me right there.” Feeling his knees go a bit weak in relief, he slumped back down in his chair. “You don’t think...he’ll try to kill Uther again, do you?”

Gaius didn’t answer at first and instead focused on making their dinner. “I think that if we don’t trust him right now, he’ll never trust you in return ever again.”

“I hope you’re right...”

  


~*~

  


Arthur couldn’t bring himself to say much during the dinner, instead watching Morgana and Uther. If Merlin was right, Morgana couldn’t be trusted either. Now that he was looking for it, he could see her barely concealed hatred...but did that extend to Arthur, or to Camelot? What were her plans?

The harder one to look at was his father. The only reason he had doubted what his mother’s spirit had told him was Merlin. He had trusted Merlin completely and he feared such trust had been a mistake. Now that he was outed as a sorcerer, he must have as much hatred for Uther that Morgana had. Was he suddenly agreeing that Morgause and his mother was telling the truth, hoping for him to attack his father again?

But if that was the case, why had he lied before when he’d had Uther pinned to the chair? Surely that would have been the best moment, to allow it to happen. Try as he might, Arthur could not picture Merlin as manipulatively evil as that. Morgana he might accept, she had always been that way when she got what she wanted out of the king, but Merlin? He seemed too innocent and straightforward. Who did he trust?

Of course that could be a lie as well, but he didn’t think it was. It would take so much effort to maintain such a guise and what would be the point now that he knew--

“You’re quiet tonight, Arthur.”

He looked up from his food at Uther’s question, noting that Morgana was suddenly watching him with interest. “I’m merely tired,” he said, deciding on that truth rather than come up with a lie on the spot. He’d had a good hour or two to come up with the excuses he used earlier, but he was beginning to sense that it was going to be a lot harder keeping Merlin’s secret if he couldn’t get better at lying on the spot.

“I must say, I was stunned when you said your manservant managed to spot them before you.”

“Merlin has his moments,” Arthur agreed blandly, realizing that Uther had never once said Merlin’s name. He was always ‘your manservant’ and the lack of caring for him just because of his station chafed. It had never sat well that Uther had always tried to stop him from helping Merlin and now knowing how often the sorcerer had put himself in peril for his sake, it bothered him even more. It seemed the least of his crimes, given that he was a man that had turned to magic of his own accord and then punished everyone else for the outcome, but Uther’s lack of acknowledgment that Merlin’s life was as worthy as his own rankled more.

With his ire quickly rising and fearing what he might do if he stayed, Arthur stood. “Given the long events of the day and the battle, I think I shall retire to my chambers.”

Uther waved him off with an understanding smile and he quickly left. Keeping Merlin’s secret was going to be very difficult. Even though Merlin and Gaius had managed to keep it for so many years, such a thing had a way of getting out. Merlin wasn’t terribly subtle and Arthur still couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it. Perhaps he had been willfully ignoring it until Merlin hadn’t let him anymore?

He sighed as he closed the door to his room and just let his clothes drop on the way to his bed. Merlin could pick them up in the morning. He had fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Yet his dreams were unpleasant and by the time Merlin had stalked in with his breakfast and thrown open the curtains, he was just as happy to be awake. His servant quickly gathered up his clothes from yesterday, but said nothing and Arthur watched him quietly. He seemed terribly nervous, which he supposed he couldn’t blame him, considering how angry Arthur had been the day before.

“Merlin.”

Almost imperceptibly, Merlin winced but looked up. “Yeah?”

It was just so hard to apply all the things he had been told were evil about magic to Merlin. Even knowing he was powerful now and a dragonlord, he seemed like he still needed protection. He had no choice but to trust that Arthur would keep quiet, with no assurances in return. “What are you doing?”

“Picking up your clothes.”

“Without a word of complaint.”

“Isn’t that...what you want?”

A perfect servant that just did as they were supposed to without a word. Merlin had always flouted that convention before, willingly talking back to Arthur as if they were equals. While there was always a respect for Arthur’s position, he had still treated him as if he were human. “Relax. Just be like you always were,” he finally said with a sigh.

“Really?” Merlin replied skeptically. “Because I distinctly remember a lot of complaints when I did that.”

“Well, you are terribly annoying and the worst servant a man could have,” he agreed, sliding out of bed and going to the changing screen.

“Yet you’re still keeping me.”

“You have some redeeming qualities.”

The easy banter between them settled an ache in his chest that had been there since the day before when he feared that his world, all that he had thought he’d known, had completely fallen down around him. Even knowing that Arthur held his life in his hands, Merlin was cautious of him but not afraid. He didn’t need to be, the prince reflected. His initial rage had cooled during the night and he could at least objectively look at everything.

As he stepped back into the room dressed, he asked, “Merlin, do you hate Uther?” Merlin paused, hands still on the sheets as he straightened Arthur’s bed. “Tell me the truth.”

“Hate is...a strong word,” Merlin said at last. “But I guess it applies. I hate what he’s done and continues to do, what his beliefs are, but I also know that he has at least one redeeming quality.”

“And what is that?”

Merlin just looked at him. “Even with all his hypocrisy, he loves you.”

“And that excuses what he’s done?”

“No, of course not, but he’s a part of your life. I have to accept him to accept you.”

The very same way that Gwen did after her father had been executed. “I can’t forgive him, Merlin,” Arthur admitted quietly, sitting at his table, but not touching his breakfast. “He never talked to my mother, told her what he was going to do. He killed her and then blamed magic for it. It was magic’s fault, magic was evil, even though he was the one that used it. So many people died for his hypocrisy. I want to bring him to justice for what he’s done, for all the murders of innocent people that he condemned to death to assuage his guilty conscience.”

Merlin sat in the chair next to him, his eyes so full of compassion that it made Arthur shiver. Merlin had told him time and again what a great man he was and would become, but he was nothing in comparison to his manservant. He seemed so pure, so devoted to the exclusion of even his own well-being and it humbled Arthur more than anything else had in his life.

“I know as well you what Uther has done and there is no right answer. All I know is that regardless of all that, he’s still your only living parent. He’s made mistakes, some he won’t even admit to and some that are atrocities, but he really does believe that what he’s doing is right. He has the same convictions in his own beliefs that you do. No one would ask you to forgive him, but think of all you would lose if you had acted on your anger back then.”

“Do you forgive him for what he did?”

“No. He tricked my father, hunted him until he was forced into hiding; he’s blamed magic for everything and hurt so many people.”

“Yet you saved him when Morgana drove him mad.”

“For you.”

He blinked. “Me?”

“I thought…if Uther was killed by magic, you would really believe what he said about it being evil.”

The truth was, before, he might have. Merlin might have been right in his fears, but he could see that not all magic was evil. Merlin himself wasn’t. “I should have made you a knight,” he said honestly.

Merlin grinned. “Me, a knight? Nah, you know I can’t figure swords out. But Lancelot and Gwaine--”

“They’re already knights, as far as I’m concerned.”

Really, could Merlin seem any happier right then? He stood up, almost bouncing and said, “At least eat something, Arthur. I went all the way to the kitchen to get it.”

As his manservant picked up a basket of his laundry, he said, “Thank you.”

Merlin turned and blinked at him. “For what?”

For what? “For saving my life. For every time you did it. You never received the credit you deserved.”

He swore he saw a blush on the sorcerer’s cheeks and it looked surprisingly attractive on him. Arthur shifted awkwardly at the thought, almost blushing at himself. Did he just think that Merlin was attractive? Nothing about Merlin had changed physically; had he just never really looked at him to find out? Arthur frowned at himself. Had he just dismissed Merlin in a different way than Uther, never willing to acknowledge his good points unless they were in danger? Such was the way of their relationship, always had been.

“You’re welcome...prat.”

He rolled his eyes at the cheekiness of Merlin’s comment and couldn’t help a smile. Merlin would always be Merlin.

~*~

“Merlin.”

Merlin moaned a bit in pain and rolled onto his side with a cough. “Remind me why we’re doing this,” he grunted, the shield feeling like a lead weight on his arm.

Three weeks had passed since Arthur had found out about his magic and he could honestly say he hadn’t been more relaxed in his life. He never had to worry now about the prince finding out and he honestly seemed interested when he would use his magic. Then he’d stalked into his room and dragged him out of his bed at the crack of dawn, piling armor on him and pulling him to the outskirts of the castle for training. With swords.

“You need a way to defend yourself,” Arthur insisted, standing over Merlin’s prone form.

“I _have_ a way to defend myself,” he argued.

“A nonmagical way to defend yourself then. Or do you want Uther to find out, or Morgana?”

“Not really,” he muttered, forcing his tired arms to push himself to a sitting position.

Merlin had spent a myriad of hours telling Arthur literally everything he could about all the times he’d used magic, being brutally honest about his feelings and what he had done. Even the parts he hated, like poisoning Morgana. He’d been unable to look Arthur in the eyes as he’d related that tale and had been stunned at the comforting hand on his shoulder.

He squeaked as he felt Arthur’s arms sliding under his armpits from behind and pulled him up to his feet. He marveled at the prince’s ability to touch him like he wasn’t worried at all and he wondered if this would have happened if he’d told him before. Maybe not, though. Maybe the only reason this was as good as it was, was because they knew each other.

“Make you an offer,” he said, hearing Arthur puff in his ear as he forced Merlin to straighten, but his hands remained on his arms to keep him steady as if he didn’t even think about it.

“What?”

“You handle the pointy objects and I handle the magic.”

Arthur grunted in disgust and made him stand on his own. “Merlin--”

“Arthur, I really don’t need all this,” Merlin tried to convince him. “I’ve managed to make it this far without Uther or Morgana knowing anything.”

“Sheer luck.”

Before he could continue the argument, he spotted a page running toward them over the prince’s shoulder and he nodded slightly. Arthur turned around just as the young man reached them, panting. “The king...requests your presence...sire.”

“What does he want now?” Arthur groused, startling Merlin.

The page looked as equally shocked. “I-I don’t know, sir.”

“Put the armor away, Merlin, and meet me there.”

He watched as the prince stalked away and knew that this was going to be a lot more difficult than he had realized. Arthur was clearly having trouble with acting normally after everything. He couldn’t blame him, his friend hadn’t spent his life hiding his feelings.

But he did as he was told, lugging the heavy armor and shields back into the barracks, wishing he could just ditch his shirt. He was hot, sweating in places he’d rather not think about, and was exhausted...but as much as he wanted to just jump in a pond and clean himself up, or sleep, he headed for the throne room. Arthur was there, arms crossed and face blank and he couldn’t help but wonder just what it was about.

He didn’t have to wait long as he slunk into the room and hung near the back. There was only one guard near the door, the king, and the prince. Whatever this was, it wasn’t something Uther wanted everyone knowing about.

“--take precautions, but unfortunately, you can only take Sir Leon with you.”

“I don’t see why this is necessary, Father.” He winced at hearing the way Arthur almost choked on the last word.

“Because of the redrawn borders thanks to our treaties, that village will now be in our territory and they’re druids. King Erik might allow them to live as they please, I cannot tell him what to do, but once those extra acres become part of Camelot, they become our responsibility. They must obey the laws like everyone else.”

Merlin’s fingers curled inward as he fought to breathe. He had a really good idea what Uther wanted and he didn’t like it one bit. His eyes fell to the floor, just in case the king caught the look he had trouble hiding in his eyes.

“Nor can we just pass judgment on them mere days after the treaty, it would be an insult to our neighbors, the implication that we considered people that were their citizens criminals. They must be dealt with, but no one must know.”

“Yes. I’ll leave tonight.”

Arthur turned on his heel, preempting whatever else Uther might have said and stalked out, and Merlin quickly followed. He waited until they were relatively far away and no one within hearing distance before he hissed, “You’re not going to...kill them all, are you?”

The prince looked at him briefly and his quick, angry steps slowed. “...No. I might be leery of magic, but they have not committed any crimes just by living on the outskirts of our land. I will not execute others simply for what they’re born as.”

“You let Uther kill a young man for being a mage the day I arrived. They burned him at the stake in the square.”

“And it isn’t something I’m proud of, Merlin. I’ve done much that my—the king asked me to do that casts shame on my honor, but I did it believing he was right.” Arthur sighed and leaned against the wall. Merlin couldn’t help but stare at him as he listened. “Perhaps I was too cowardly to stand up to him. It never sat well with me, killing those just because they were born of magic, but I trusted him when he said that he had seen it was evil.”

“And now?”

“It’s not all evil,” he said with sigh. “I don’t believe _you’re_ evil. You’re a terrible manservant, yes, and bloody clumsy and useless most of the time...but you’re not evil. You’ve saved me enough times that I don’t see an evil person doing that.”

Merlin couldn’t help the bright grin on his face and Arthur briefly looked at him and then away in awkwardness. It faded as he realized that still left a big problem: What to do with all those people, and how to do it with Sir Leon around. “So what’s our plan? Can we trust Sir Leon to not say anything?”

“I don’t know,” Arthur said, with a frown. “He has always been one of the most noble of the knights, but would he choose to side with us instead of the king if we explained this to him? I don’t know. I don’t see a way of helping the villagers and keeping him in the dark about it.”

“I can’t see how Leon would be okay with what the king wants us to do.”

Arthur shifted, straightening and waiting until some passing servants were well out of earshot before they continued down the hallway. “I’m not sure I’m willing to let your life be in danger to find out.”

“Why does he have to know about me?” Merlin argued. “I can work magic without him knowing!”

“And do you expect that these people will _trust us_ without a show of magic when we find them? Once they find out who I am, they’ll assume I’m there to kill them. Even if you show them a display when Leon isn’t there, they’ll assume he knows as well and won’t keep it secret.”

“We could just ask them not to say anything when he’s around.”

Arthur’s response was preempted by Leon’s presence at the door and the prince shot him a warning look. “Sir Leon.”

“The king sent me a page, said that I was to go with you.”

“Did he tell you what we’re doing?”

“No, sire.”

Arthur took a breath and nodded. The horses were already ready, but Leon paused when he saw how many there were. “Only three, milord?”

“Yes. This must be kept quiet.”

Leon nodded quickly and earnestly, swinging up and Merlin mounting last in trepidation. He didn’t know what Arthur’s plan was to save these people, but he hoped it was a good one. Would Uther just trust his word that he had done what he said he did, or would he send others to check?

The ride was quiet and no one spoke until Camelot was well behind them. It was only then that Leon spoke, in a hesitant manner, asking, “Sire, what are we doing?”

Arthur didn’t answer for a long moment, looking hard at Merlin. Merlin wasn’t sure why and instead just stared back, meeting those intense blue eyes with trust. No matter how much he grumbled about it, Merlin felt safe with Arthur. He was protecting his secret and wasn’t going to let someone hurt him. Their friendship was stronger than what he was taught.

Finally he must have seen what he was looking for, because Arthur pulled his horse to a stop. “Leon.”

“Yes?” the knight asked as both he and Merlin stopped as well.

“This task being given to us is a...difficult one. The king is asking us to kill people that have been born with magic, but have committed no crime. How do you feel about that?”

Leon’s mouth dropped open and Merlin watched closely. Would he do what Uther wanted? Would he do it because he thought Arthur wanted it? Why did that idiot Arthur have to put it that way, when Leon could perceive that it was something the prince wanted to do too? If he was more loyal to Arthur than Uther, but he thought Arthur was for it, would he--

“I feel...that it would be abhorrent to do so, sire. It’s immoral,” he said honestly.

“Do you refuse to follow the king’s orders based on your feeling that it is immoral?” Arthur asked, face devoid of any kind of hint as to what the ‘right’ answer would be.

“...Yes.”

The tension left Arthur’s shoulders immediately. “Good. Then we’re all in agreement.”

“Agreement, sire?”

“Merlin and I had no plans to follow that order, but we had to know where you stood before I could tell you what are plan is.”

“Yes, what _is_ our plan, exactly?” Merlin prodded.

“Well, we certainly can’t let them stay there. If they still live there, it will get back to Uther and their lives will be in greater peril because he’ll spend the rest of his life hunting each and every one of them down. We have to convince them to leave and resettle in another area.”

“And why would they believe us?” Leon asked.

“Oh, they won’t believe us. They’ll believe Merlin.”

“Why Merlin?”

Arthur turned to look at him again and nodded. “Go ahead.”

“But...”

“It’s all right. I’ll protect you if need be.”

There was such conviction in Arthur’s voice, the calm and reassuring look in his eyes like a warm blanket, that he allowed himself to do what the prince was asking even as his self-preservation instincts kicked in with a warning. He looked ahead of them to a fallen log and dead leaves scattering the forest floor. With a few whispered words, he felt the magic come to him easily. The log rose in the area and the leaves spun in a circle around it for a minute before he began lowering it as slowly as he had risen it.

“A sorcerer! He’s a sorcerer!”

Leon’s shocked reaction, the way he tugged at his horse’s reigns and startled the equine, broke into Merlin’s concentration and the leaves burst in a flurry around, falling to the ground quickly and the log hit the earth with a crash. His hand rose just in case, seeing Leon reaching for his sword, but Arthur had butted in quickly, his horse almost landing against Merlin’s as he blocked the knight from even seeing his manservant, much less reaching him.

“Leon, stop!”

The word seemed to freeze him, sword halfway drawn. “Sire?”

“You touch him and you will be an enemy to me.” At Leon’s widened eyes, Arthur continued, “I trust him with my life, Leon, a life he’s _saved_ many times over.”

“But he’s a sorcerer!”

“And he is also a good man, maybe even one better than I. I wouldn’t have the ability to work next to Uther, were I him. I can barely stand him as a man, much less a father.”

“But sir...why?”

“Because what Morgause said was true. He used magic to cause Igraine to bear me without telling her and when he didn’t like the result, he turned against it like the hypocrite he is. I will not be as blind as him and refuse to see that it’s actions that make something evil.” Arthur’s heat in front of him almost seemed to sear him from how passionate the prince was and he couldn’t help but grip his shoulder in comfort.

“Leon, this is the truth. Merlin has magic, and we intend to save innocents from Uther. Are you going to accept that or not?”

Leon looked at them quietly and he felt worry form in his gut as the knight asked, “And if I don’t agree with you?”

“Then our paths will forever break here and won’t cross again.”

“You would kill me to protect him?”

“No. But I could not return to Camelot.”

He blinked. “Why not?”

“Yeah, why not?” Merlin seconded in surprise.

“If you disagreed and told Uther, Merlin’s life wouldn’t be safe to return and I won’t come back without him.”

“And you would go so far for him?”

“He’s...my friend. He’s important to me.”

Merlin caught the pause in his words and wondered what he might have considered saying before, but he could hardly bring himself to care. Arthur had just admitted they were friends! It seemed a silly thing to get exuberant over, as he had known such a thing before, but the prince had never _said_ it unless one of them was dying.

Slowly Leon resheathed his sword. “I’m glad to know you are the man that I always thought.”

Arthur shifted his horse then, pulling away from Merlin when the threat was gone. “As am I. We’re glad to have you on our side, Sir Leon.”

“You _still_ haven’t said what our plan is,” Merlin argued.

Arthur urged his horse into motion, but by the way he shifted, he knew the prince didn’t actually _have_ a plan in place yet. “We have to convince them to leave, but we need a safe place for them to go.”

“How is it fair to make them leave? They’ve probably lived there for generations and you’re making them move because of Uther.”

“To save their lives, yes. Unless you have a better idea.”

The truth was, he didn’t. If Arthur was operating under the assumption that eventually their presence would get back to Uther, it probably would. But it didn’t feel right to make them move from a place they’d lived for so long just because of one man. Yet Merlin couldn’t bring himself to say the alternative because he knew Arthur would never condone a coup, no matter how angry he was at his father.

“You can always stand up to him.”

Arthur looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. “What, exactly, do you think that’s going to accomplish?”

“Well...Uther loves you and if you tell him that you won’t do it, he wouldn’t--”

“He’s never listened to me, Merlin, and even if I did, he’d just send the knights to do it instead of me regardless of the consequences. If we move them somewhere safe and let Uther think we did what he said, he’ll find out they no longer live there and believe we told the truth and move on.”

But what was that going to do to Morgana? If Morgana thought that Arthur was prosecuting sorcerers and magic users just like Uther, she would turn against him if she hadn’t already. “You don’t realize what making them move would do,” he argued. “It would take so much time to resettle, to be able to work the land to support themselves. How would they survive? Winter is going to be here in a month or two. They wouldn’t be able to take the food they stored up if the ruse is going to work. They wouldn’t be able to take anything.”

Arthur’s horse started to slow. “Do you really think turning around and arguing with Uther will help?”

Something about the question felt like it had more weight than he understood, but Merlin shook the thought off. Uther adored Arthur; he would never hurt him. “Yes.”

The prince looked at him for so long a moment that Merlin wondered what he had said that was so strange, but before he could ask, Arthur had abruptly turned his horse around. “Very well. If that’s that you think is the best course, we’ll go back.”

The return seemed to go far faster than their departure and before he knew it they were back in the courtyard. For some reason he felt queasy in nerves, even though he knew he wasn’t going to be doing any of the arguing. Uther was surprisingly out of the palace, walking through the courtyard with a guard in toe and Morgana at his side. The servants stopped and bowed as he passed, including Gwen.

“Arthur?”

Uther’s confused question drew attention to them, but Arthur didn’t say anything until they’d all dismounted. He met Merlin’s eyes just briefly before turning to the king. “Father, I won’t do this.”

“...What?”

“I won’t do what you want. It’s wrong.”

“I gave you a direct order as your king,” Uther said, voice lowering in a hiss.

“And it’s an order that I can’t follow. Those people have done _nothing wrong_. Just because they have magic is not enough for me!”

It was as if someone had sucked all the air away. Morgana’s eyes were wide and piercing as she watched and Uther winced. But Arthur was not going to keep it a secret, clearly, and decided that confronting him with witnesses might make a difference. “Having magic is a crime in Camelot! Magic is evil and I’m doing what I have to, to protect our people!”

“It’s how magic is _used_ that makes it evil! It is no more evil in its existence than a sword! You’re _wrong_!”

Merlin saw as if everything was wading through water, slowed down. Uther’s arm raised, hand going out to slap the prince, and he reacted before he could help it. He didn’t even consider what he was doing would make it worse. His eyes glowed and the magic gripped Uther’s arm tight, holding it still inches before Arthur’s face.

Uther struggled for just a second and his eyes turned right to Merlin. A feeling of panic slowly sank in as he saw sheer righteous rage in the king’s eyes and horror in the prince’s. The magic released almost of its own accord and he was about to apologize, about to run, when he felt something hard slam into the back of his head. Pain exploded behind his eyes and he stumbled, falling to the firm, unforgiving cobblestones. His ears were swimming, but he could still make out muffled shouting and chaos and suddenly arms were around him, grabbing him.

He attempted to struggle, but his head hurt so badly that doing so almost made him sick and he gave up. But the grip on him didn’t make him get to his feet, didn’t put irons on him or drag him from somewhere. Slowly Merlin pried his eyes open slowly and he saw a red cape in front of him and the curly hair of Sir Leon. The knight had his sword drawn...on the king!

He looked at the man holding him, stunned to see it was Arthur clutching him to his chest. “ _Don’t touch him_ ,” he hissed.

“Arthur, he has magic!”

“So?! He’s also saved my life countless times since we met! He’s no more evil than I am!”

Uther stared at him in horrified silence. “You knew,” he murmured in betrayal, before he shook his head fiercely. “He’s enchanted you!”

“No, he hasn’t!” Arthur argued vehemently. “And if you touch him again--”

Uther said something that Merlin missed, because his attention was drawn to the other hesitating knights. Their swords were out, but they weren’t approaching...yet. He considered using his magic, but he didn’t think that with his pounding head he could properly control it. He just had to trust Arthur would get them out of this.

“I can’t stay then,” Arthur was saying.

Uther paused. “What?”

“I renounce the throne. We will leave Camelot.”

He thought he saw panic on Uther’s face, but it could have also been rage. Probably both. “You can’t!”

“I can and I will, Uther.” Merlin felt himself hauled up a little, but before he could get his feet under him, he felt Arthur’s strong arm go underneath his knees, carrying him. He would have squeaked and argued in embarrassment, but his head was swimming again and he had to really fight not to vomit all over Arthur’s armor.

Leon slowly eased over, keeping his eyes on the guards and the two of them very efficiently got Merlin on the horse and the prince swung up behind him with barely a pause. Leon grabbed the reigns of the other horse before getting on his quickly.

“Arthur, don’t do this. Not for him. Not for that sorcerer.”

He could almost feel Arthur’s lip curl in disgust as he said, “ _Yes_ for him, for a man better than any of us… Because he was _right_. What you were asking us to do is wrong. Even just secreting them away somewhere else is wrong because they’re still being penalized for existing. And I can’t live like that.”

It took all of Merlin’s willpower to keep his lunch down as the horses turned and quickly bolted out the gate. He managed to get a glimpse of Gaius in a window and other knights swarming into the courtyard, but they were moving too fast to see his expression.

They were leaving Camelot, exiled, and it was all his fault.

~*~


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur watched Merlin lying on his cloak. He was quiet and very, very pale. The pommel of that sword had hit him hard and he cursed that he hadn’t been close enough to stop the knight from trying to knock him out and contain him. The panic that hit him, that overwhelmed him, when he’d seen that hadn’t been a pleasant experience even if it had been illuminating.

Because he’d been terrified he’d lose Merlin. He had spotted Gwen in the crowd, seen how she’d wanted to approach, but Arthur had shaken his head. He didn’t trust anyone with Merlin’s safety, even as he wanted to berate the young man for blatantly using his magic for such a stupid thing. It wasn’t as if Uther hadn’t hit him before...but it had never been when Merlin was around.

“Merlin.”

Merlin shifted, moaning a little in pain, but his haunted blue eyes looked at him. They had ridden hard into the night until he felt they were far enough away from Camelot that they were safe to camp. He was sure that Uther had sent out the knights looking for them. Unfortunately the rough riding hadn’t done his manservant any good in his condition and as soon as they’d set him down, he’d thrown up.

“You should eat something,” he told him, gesturing at the bag of rations that they’d originally brought for the mission and had still been on Merlin’s horse.

“No,” he muttered. “Definitely not hungry.”

He looked around, but Leon was still hunting for decent firewood and he felt confident enough in not being observed to speak honestly. “I’m worried, Merlin. Your head--”

“Is my own fault. I shouldn’t have used magic, but he was going to hit you.”

“Not an uncommon occurrence,” he argued. “I could have taken it without a problem.”

“But you shouldn’t have to. I was the one that convinced you to go back and now, because of me, you can’t go back.” Merlin paused and Arthur knew what he was about to say before he said it, “Leave me and go back. Take Leon and you can return--”

“No. Never.”

“But--”

“Just shut up, Merlin. I’m not leaving you. We’re together in this whether you like it or not.”

He heard footsteps behind him and he whirled with his sword, only to lower it when he saw it was just Leon. There was a look in his eyes that said he had heard the last part, but he didn’t comment on it, which Arthur was grateful for. Instead, he asked, “Where are we going, sire?”

“First of all, you’re going to have to stop calling me sire. I abdicated the throne, remember?”

“You will always be a prince to me, your highness.” Leon set the wood down next to the small fire they had going and leaned back against a log. “What are we going to do, sir?”

Arthur gave up on correcting him and sat back down next to Merlin. “I don’t know...but I think we should head to that village. Uther will probably retaliate against them and I can’t let them be slaughtered because of that. The point of all this was to save their lives. After that, I’m not sure. Maybe become a farmer.” Merlin snorted a laugh and he half-glared. “What?”

“You’d be a terrible farmer.”

“Probably,” Arthur agreed blandly, pleased to see Merlin amused at something, rather than morose at what had happened. “I think we should just focus on our immediate goal of getting those people to safety.”

“We’ll need help for that,” Leon pointed out. “Do you know anyone that can do that?”

“Gwaine and Lancelot for one,” Arthur said. “They might know others that would help. Gwaine we just need to check taverns for and Lancelot...”

“He’ll probably find us,” Merlin told him. “Lancelot’s like that. He’ll probably start looking for us as soon as he hears about what happened.”

“You also still have supporters back in Camelot.”

“No, I don’t want to drag them into this,” Arthur told Leon. “If they get caught helping us in any way, Uther will retaliate in ways that I’d rather not think about.”

“I’m sorry,” Merlin muttered in the quiet and Arthur just gripped his shoulder in reassurance.

“Go to sleep, Merlin. Rest. You’re going to need it.”

As Merlin’s sad eyes closed and he fell asleep, Leon murmured, “He cares for you very much, sire.”

“...I know. And I wish I hadn’t had to do this. He loved Camelot too, and Gaius was there...but we can’t stay. He’d be killed with Uther still there.” Arthur knew the answer to that was simple, but he couldn’t kill the king straight out like that. He just couldn’t, no matter how much he couldn’t stand him as a person after what he’d done. Maybe it was because of Merlin, but he didn’t want to do anything that would disappoint his friend. His opinion of him...he valued it too much to lose it and he knew how disappointed the sorcerer would be if he did that.

“Sire...if I may ask...”

Arthur looked up at Leon’s awkward question. “What?”

Leon licked his lips cautiously. “I always assumed that you...with Gwen, but...” The knight shifted, but before Arthur could say anything, the delicate question was posed, “Was Gwen...an act?”

An act? Gwen? Why would he-- Arthur felt his face flush bright red at the implication. Leon thought...the reason he did this was because he was in love with Merlin and they were courting! That he had been interested in Gwen only as a ruse to cover that fact! “N-No!”

Court _Merlin_? The thought didn’t upset him like he expected it might and he only blushed harder. He... _had_ been paying more attention to his manservant of late, but that was because he’d had magic, wasn’t it? He glanced at the sleeping man. It felt like the last barrier between them had fallen once his abilities were exposed and he felt closer to him than ever. But that didn’t mean…

“No,” he said more calmly. “I just… I just don’t want him hurt and I don’t…” He licked his lips as he tried to explain it, all the while knowing he didn’t _have_ to explain it at all. “I think of everyone I’ve ever met, he’s my closest…friend I guess is the word, but it doesn’t feel like it explains it. He’s...a friend, yes, but I can’t imagine him not being there, _pushing_ me to be better than I am. I need him here, to remind me that I have to reach for something greater and that it’s okay if I fall short. I don’t think I could do any of this without his support. Standing up to Uther like that… I’ve wanted to do it for a long time, but when I tried, I’d just get such resistence and I felt powerless to go against him. Then Merlin came along and told me that I _can_ win, that I _can_ fight for what’s right, because he would always be with me. Even if I lost everything by going against Uther, I wouldn’t lose him.”

As Leon watched him silently, with a knowing look in his eyes that Arthur didn’t understand, he added awkwardly, “But don’t tell him this. It’ll inflate his ego.”

“I think it could stand be inflated a little, sire.”

He glanced at Merlin and sighed, knowing how selfless his manservant was. “...You’re right...but if you tell him, make sure I’m not around.”

Leon started to grin. “Why? Embarrassed?”

“For a start,” he shot back before he settled down to sleep. They were going to have another rough day of riding if they were going to hunt for Gwaine and make it to that village before Uther turned his attention to them.

~*~

“This is the fifth tavern we’ve checked,” Leon said with a sigh. “How many more do we have time for before we’re too late?”

“And who is the prince of Camelot looking for?”

Arthur whirled in surprise, but Merlin smiled widely at seeing the scruffy man approaching from behind. He frowned a bit at that, but told himself that he didn’t care if Merlin was excited to see him. Didn’t care at all. Leon looked at him with significance, but he ignored it. He refused to accept that maybe the knight’s words might be right and he just never realized it. It couldn’t be.

“It’s about time, Gwaine!”

“Oh? What’s this about?” As Merlin explained it to the man, Gwaine’s expression became grim. Yet he didn’t seem put out or even surprised at the knowledge that Merlin was a sorcerer. “Well you’ve got yourselves in a right mess. But I’ll help however I can.”

“Good,” Arthur told him, trying to not stiffen his spine so much as Gwaine stood next to Merlin in a way that was far too close for his comfort...but he had no reason to be upset, damn it! Just because he spent the last few weeks stuck to Merlin’s side or him to Arthur’s didn’t mean that he had any right to be so possessive! Then again, Merlin _had_ tried to leave once or twice, thinking stupidly that it would be better and he’d give up and go back to Camelot if he wasn’t there, but he was easy to find. He never strayed too far, after all.

“What about Lancelot?” Leon asked as they mounted their horses and set off.

“We don’t have time to wait for him, unfortunately,” Arthur told him. “It’ll just be the four of us.”

“What are you planning on doing with these people?” Gwaine asked, joining them as they set off at a canter.

“We’ll have to move them,” Arthur said with a grim sigh. “I don’t want to, but we can’t fight the entire army of Camelot.”

“And you’re _sure_ he’ll attack them?”

“After refusing him? Yes.”

Arthur felt Merlin’s eyes on him and he glanced over to make sure he was okay, but the sorcerer just appeared unreadable. “Stop thinking so much, Merlin. It’ll be fine.”

The unreadable expression turned to doubt. “If you say so.”

“I say so.” The truth, though, was that he wasn’t confident. They had to reach the village first, then convince them to come with them, and then escort them somewhere safe. It was not going to be an easy task and he was starting to feel the consequences of being on a horse for almost a solid month of riding. And he didn’t want to admit to any of them that he missed the palace. It had been his home for his entire life and the thought of leaving it and the people that he loved had finally started to catch up to him. It was one thing to storm out in anger, to say ‘how dare you’ for hurting someone he cared about, but he hadn’t thought of how he would feel after the rage had cooled. He didn’t regret abdicating, but he regretted losing his home in the process.

“Arthur?”

He blinked at Merlin’s question, realizing that the group had fallen into silence and he sighed. “What, Merlin?”

“Let’s...take a break. I can’t take much more riding right now.”

Arthur gave Merlin a sharp look because his manservant looked perfectly fine, but he didn’t see a reason to argue. It was getting late in the day anyway and they should start looking for a place to camp. It would take another two weeks to get to that village and he prayed that it would still be there when they did

“I’ll get firewood,” he offered, heading off deeper into the forest. He wanted to be alone, but he knew he wasn’t. Arthur was trained in tracking since he was a child and Merlin wasn’t exactly subtle. He waited for a few minutes, picking up sticks, before calling, “If you’re going to follow me, at least help.”

There was a quiet moment before the sorcerer came into view. He said a few unintelligble words to Arthur and all of a sudden any decent sticks for a fire lifted up and flew to his arms. “I should scold you for using your magic, but I don’t think there’s much point anymore.”

Merlin set down his pile and grabbed Arthur’s from his hands, setting them down too before he faced the prince. Arthur raised his eyebrow, wondering what he was about to do, before he gasped in surprise at the sudden hug he was pulled into. “Merlin?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. This was something I should have done a long time ago. I should have been the better man and stood up to him long before now.”

“But you wouldn’t have had to do that if I hadn’t revealed my magic. You wouldn’t have had to leave Camelot, and Gwen, and everything you loved back there.”

“And you think that because…? This would have happened regardless, at some point.” He thought hugging Merlin back would feel awkward, but instead it was surprisingly comfortable. “You don’t have to feel guilty. I’m not upset with you.”

Finally Merlin let him go, but their eyes wouldn’t meet. Not sure what that meant, Arthur grabbed the large pile of firewood and turned to return to their camp. Food was sparse and they’d have to go hunting soon if they wanted to eat in the near future. Merlin was right on his heels as he returned and he plopped down right next to Arthur. He eyed the sorcerer, but he couldn’t begin to guess what was going on in his mind. All he knew was that he was glad Merlin was with him, even if he would never tell him that.

“What about Morgana?” Merlin asked after they’d spent two hours hashing out where they were going to take the villagers.

“What about her?”

Merlin bit his lip, gold flaring in his eyes as the fire surged from its embers, returning to full blaze. “What do you think she’s going to do now that you’re gone?”

“Well if she wants the throne, she has the opportunity,” Gwaine said, stretching out his legs near the fire.

“She tried to drive Uther mad. Without us there to stop her, she might kill Uther.”

Arthur knew that Merlin was looking at him, but he didn’t know what reaction he was supposed to have to that. The thought had been with him since they’d left Camelot in one way or another and he still wasn’t sure what to feel about it. As angry as he was at the hypocrite Uther was with magic, and how he was still enraged how he treated Merlin, he wasn’t sure he wanted him dead. Arthur had never doubted that Uther was a good king and Merlin had made valid points that he really believed what he was doing was right. It didn’t mean he could ever forgive him, but it did mean that he didn’t think killing Uther was the right answer.

But if Merlin was right about Morgana, there was a near certainty that she would attempt to kill him again and possibly succeed. Uther would never believe that Morgana wasn’t anything but completely loyal to him. Had he signed his father’s death warrant by leaving? And if she did, what was he going to do about it?

“We can’t worry about that right now,” Arthur said with a sigh. “We just have to get to that village and save those people.”

~*~

Arthur didn’t let them have any breaks on the way and Merlin watched the prince worriedly. He had been distant, wanting to be alone most of the time, and he could only imagine the stress he was under. He couldn’t help feeling guilty because this entire situation was his fault entirely and yet Arthur wouldn’t let him remedy it by leaving. He kept insisting he was fine and the few times he’d tried to leave, Arthur would stick so close to him for days after that it wasn’t worth trying it again.

The small village was quiet when they rounded the corner and he frowned. He didn’t see anyone at all, but there didn’t seem to be any indications of violence or battle. Were they hiding? Merlin slid off his horse first, intending on going ahead to see if it was safe by himself, but the prince was at his side almost instantly.

Just as they got closer to the first house, a flurry of movement startled the horses and the knights drew their swords to meet another blade. The man who held it was big and bulky, but he moved lightly despite that. Leon stepped forward to distract him from the prince just as a voice lanced out, “Percival, stop!”

Merlin smiled in relief as he recognized it. “Lancelot!”

Lancelot jogged up, followed by another man, this one with dark skin. “Merlin! What are you doing here?”

“Long story--”

“Where are the villagers?” Arthur interrupted.

“Hiding in the woods. There were rumors of an attack, but they weren’t sure when. We’ve been here ever since the treaty was signed because we knew sooner or later Uther would send troops here.” Lancelot looked at them hard. “Are you here to kill them?”

“No, we’re here to move them. Uther’s going to send the army here soon enough and they’ll be slaughtered if we don’t.”

“Surely you can talk to the king.”

“I tried that. It didn’t work.”

“It’s my fault,” Merlin blurted out. “We went back to argue with Uther and he was going to hit Arthur and I just _reacted_ with my magic. And--”

“Long story short, I abdicated the throne and am exiled from Camelot,” Arthur finished. “And it was nobody’s fault, how many times do I have to tell you that, Merlin?!”

Merlin glared right back at the prince, even as Lancelot looked stunned. “You know about his magic then?”

“Yes and how I found out wasn’t pleasant, but we don’t really have the time to worry about that. We think we’ve found a place that they can hide where they won’t be found. If we can just hide the tracks as we get there, they should be safe.”

“Come, let’s go to the elder’s hut. There’s a map there.”

As the knights headed toward the largest house, Merlin looked behind them. He couldn’t help feeling that there was something off about everything, like something happened that wasn’t supposed to happen...but then again, all of this hadn’t been supposed to happen. Arthur was supposed to be king of Camelot--

“Merlin! Come on!”

“I’m just going to take care of the horses. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” he shouted at Arthur. His friend looked ready to argue, but the others were pulling him along. Merlin took his time, taking the few minutes alone as a much needed mental regroup. It was going to take whatever he had to do to get Arthur back to Camelot, because in his heart of hearts he _knew_ the prince was meant to be king. Unfortunately he didn’t have the power to manipulate time so he couldn’t make anyone forget about what happened.

Maybe if he returned to Camelot and tried to plead his case to Uther? Uther would likely kill him, but it would mean that Arthur was free to return...but it could also mean that Arthur would get so angry at it that he could lose it. He believed his friend to be better than that, that no doubt he’d feel remorse after, but Merlin had seen what he was like when he was truly lost to his anger. The last time that had happened, he had barely been able to save Uther’s life and he’d had to lie to do it.

“Trying to think of a way to get Arthur to go back without you?”

Merlin turned, seeing Leon standing behind him with a compassionate expression. The sorcerer sighed as he tied the last of the reigns to a fence post. “Yes, and I can’t come up with anything I haven’t tried.”

“You might as well give up. He’s never going to leave without you. You’re too important to him.”

There was such conviction in Leon’s voice that it surprised him. “I’m not _that_ important,” he muttered.

“Yes you are. He told me once that he needed you, to remind him to be a better person. It’s your opinion he’s trying to live up to.”

“That can’t be,” he argued. The prat was trying to live up to _his_ expectations when all Arthur ever did was roll his eyes? He’d been stunned that Arthur had admitted they were friends, but that was a far cry from feeling that his opinion was important in any way.

“It is. He said he needs you around, that you can’t leave.”

There was something about the way Leon was looking at him, that he seemed to be trying to say without words, and Merlin frowned as he tried to figure it out. “Leon, that’s...sounding like… I mean, you _know_ what that sounds like, right? That sounds like he’s...”

“It does,” Leon told him and turned, heading back toward the large house.

It does? That was his answer? If Gwaine had said that to him, he’d know that he was only trying to get a rise out of him, to tease him, but Leon wasn’t a joker. He was serious and honest to a fault, so what was he trying to say? Was he trying to say that Arthur was...interested in him? Merlin had always teased the prince that he was close to Gwen, had feelings for Gwen, but Arthur had always denied it. Merlin had assumed he was just too embarrassed to admit it, but maybe he’d been telling the truth.

The thought of Arthur in love with him made him shiver, but he wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t revulsion, but it was intimidating. Arthur was special, he knew that, but Merlin hardly was. So why would he be interested in him of all people? To him, Gwen and Arthur made a great couple but if Arthur didn’t love her, he couldn’t push him.

What if Leon was right and it wasn’t just because Arthur was feeling alone and raw after his self-imposed exile from Camelot? But why didn’t he just _say_ something? Didn’t he know Merlin wouldn’t turn him away? Wait, he wouldn’t? Merlin’s eyes widened as he realized that he wouldn’t. The thought of Arthur kissing him made his stomach twist in knots and his heart fluttered just a little.

But if Leon was misreading then he might upset the prince, so he couldn’t bring it up. No, there were too many other things that could account for the behavior that Leon hinted at for him to believe what he was suggesting. Before he could say or do anything, he had to be sure that Leon was right.

And he really hoped Leon _was_ right.

~*~

Merlin watched from the shadows, eyes unable to tear away from the image of the prince. No, he really was a king, even if not in name. Arthur and the other knights had been bent over that map for hours, long after the villagers had returned to their homes and fallen asleep. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t hashed out the plan already…

But that _wrong_ feeling wouldn’t leave him. It had been there, growing, ever since they had left Camelot a month ago and it was so strong now that it was like a ringing bell in his mind. But he didn’t understand _why_. He took it for granted that part of the reason was that Arthur was gone from Camelot, abdicated the throne, but it felt deeper than that. Like he should be doing something else, anything else, because if nothing else happened after this, something terrible would happen.

He had to talk to someone, someone who knew more about this than anyone, and he stepped up toward the table. “Arthur,” he said, touching the man’s wrist.

Blue eyes met his immediately. “What is it, Merlin?”

The prince’s hand remained where it was. Maybe...Maybe Leon _was_ right. “I need to talk to Kilgharrah. I just have this feeling that something’s not right.”

“Of course it’s not right, Uther’s going to slaughter everyone here,” Gwaine told him.

Merlin shook his head. “No, it’s _more_ than that, more than what’s happening at this moment. I...can’t explain it and I don’t even know why I have it, it’s not as if I’ve ever had any prophetic dreams that I know of or anything, but I just can’t shake the feeling. And it’s gotten worse. I _need_ to talk to Kilgharrah.”

“You need me to come with you?”

Arthur’s question surprised him, that he would step away from the table to go with him if he wanted him to. And he wanted him to, but he didn’t need him to and Merlin couldn’t bring himself to selfishly demand the prince’s attention when he was needed for other things, like possible defenses and tactics if what they were doing failed.

“No, I’ll be fine,” he said. “I’ll be just outside the village a little ways. I promise I won’t go far.”

He didn’t know what made him say that, since Arthur didn’t _seem_ worried, but the prince nodded. “If you’re not back in an hour, I’m coming to look for you.”

Merlin nodded in agreement and headed out. The night was broken up only by moonlight, as no one dared light a torch, and he took his time to not trip over anything in this unfamiliar area once he hit the woods. In truth, he was going further away than he thought Arthur wanted him to be, but he had to be loud to get the dragon’s attention and he didn’t want to wake the exhausted villagers.

Once he’d called for the dragon, he settled down on a log to wait. It took almost an hour just for Kilgharrah to get there, but he didn’t see any sign Arthur was tracking him down yet. The trees shook a little as the dragon landed. “You’re quite a long way from Camelot, young warlock.”

“I know,” he said with a sigh and explained what happened.

Kilgharrah reared up on his back legs in shock. “He _abdicated_?!”

“Yes.”

“You...were supposed to protect him, guide him to the throne for a new golden age, not get him banished from Camelot!”

Merlin winced and chewed on his lip. “I know and I’m trying to fix that, but I need to talk to you about something else.”

“Something else? What could possibly be more important thanthis?”

Now that he was in a position to explain his feeling fully, he struggled for the words to do so. “I have this bad feeling, like not only is something not right, it’s very, very wrong. We’re helping these people, and I know that Arthur is gone from Camelot, but I see no reason to feel like this.”

Kilgharrah didn’t say anything for a minute and Merlin shifted under the dragon’s scrutiny before the creature sighed. “You and Arthur are connected, as well as to your destiny. Arthur’s destiny should be on the throne… But that’s being jeopardized by what’s happened. He may never become king at this rate. Do you know what Arthur plans to do after he’s helped the village?”

“He said something about being a farmer, but--”

“You _must_ get him to return to Camelot at all costs. He must ascend the throne. Without his return, it’s likely he will do just what he said.”

“But what do we do about Uther?”

“Assuming the witch hasn’t killed him already?” When he nodded, Kilgharrah gave him a pitying look and merely said, “Arthur cannot take the throne if Uther is alive.”

He understood instantly. Kilgharrah was telling him to do anything to put Arthur on the throne, even… Could he murder Uther? And if he could, would Arthur _ever_ forgive him? The truth was, he could. It was that same feeling deep in his gut when he’d had to turn against Morgana to save them, and Camelot. Merlin knew it was in him to do it, but he didn’t want to at all.

“What if… What if Uther dies? What happens then?”

Kilgharrah eyed him. “If he dies and Arthur is not there to ascend the throne, Morgana will take it.” There was a moment of silence before the dragon leaned back a bit and looked at the sky. “I have always thought that like you and Arthur are each a side of one coin, so are Morgana and Uther. Yet while you and the future king complement each other, are drawn together and can come to an understanding, Morgana and Uther repel each other. They are destined to be in conflict. Uther’s hatred of magic, the persecution of those with it, is opposite extreme of Morgana’s. Morgana defense of magic and those with it is so extreme that she will punish those without it for the years of persecution she feels her people have had. Neither of them can come together to occupy a middle ground. Rather than see both sides as Camelot’s people, they choose to only champion those that conform to their view of the world. Should the witch take control of the throne, life will remain as it always has, only those that are persecuted will be different.”

Merlin’s attempt to make himself believe that Morgana wouldn’t be so bad on the throne dissipated. He would love to argue with Kilgharrah, but he believed he was right. Morgana was no longer objective that not everyone agreed with Uther, even if they were forced to obey the laws. “Would she accept Arthur as king?”

“That...I don’t know. She might now that she knows he wouldn’t continue in Uther’s vein, but she might also be driven too mad with her desire for revenge and power. Merlin...you _must_ convince Arthur to return to Camelot at all costs.”

Well he knew that, he just couldn’t figure out _how_. “I can’t help but think you’re wrong, that with Morgana on the throne, life in Camelot will be worse...but I can’t prove it.”

Kilgharrah shook his head. “I don’t know, young warlock...but you know what you must do.”

Yes, he knew. Maybe just knocking him out and dragging him back might work, but it would take a month just to get back and he could hardly keep him out for that long. As the dragon left and he returned to the village, Merlin sighed. This was going to be very difficult.

As he entered the house that had been chosen to serve as their base, he noticed the only one still awake was Arthur. “Arthur? It’s late. Go to bed.” It had long since become night and he could see the exhaustion in the man’s eyes.

“You weren’t back.”

Merlin smiled a little before he could help it. “We need to talk.”

Arthur glanced at the sleeping unofficial knights around him before he nodded and stood up. Merlin idly led him to the edge of the village, near a dilapitated building that clearly hadn’t seen someone living there in several years. “What is it?”

“Arthur, you _have_ to go back to Camelot.”

“If we go back, he’ll kill you.”

“Not we. _You_. I’ll stay back here with the knights and defend the village, and you can go back--”

“I’m not leaving you, Merlin. I’m getting tired of repeating myself.”

Rather than get annoyed at him, Merlin asked him calmly, “Why?”

Arthur blinked, as if he hadn’t expected Merlin to actually _ask_ why. “I...”

Seeing his friend struggle made him lick his lips in nerves. Leon was looking more and more right, but did Arthur know what he was feeling? Merlin tried to tell himself not to be so so hopeful, there was always a chance he was blowing this out of proportion. Arthur had always had trouble expressing any of his feelings before, it didn’t have to be because he might… He finally said, “Arthur, close your eyes.”

The prince eyed him suspiciously. “Why?”

“Just do it.”

“Don’t cast any spells on me to make me go back.”

“I don’t think they make a spell specifically made to ‘make idiot princes go back to the palaces to take the throne’,” he said dryly. “Now close your eyes.”

Despite his clear misgivings, Arthur closed his eyes. He couldn’t help but marvel at how much trust the prince had in him, now that he knew his talents. Despite his order of no spells, he trusted that Merlin wouldn’t do it. He was willing to be vulnerable just because he said so. Now that he had the opportunity, he was second guessing himself something fierce. Arthur shifted his weight impatiently and he knew that it was now or never.

So he leaned in and kissed him softly.

Arthur’s eyes flew open and met his. There was a moment of panic before suddenly strong hands were in his hair, tilting his head just right, and the prince was kissing him for all he was worth. Merlin whimpered a little, but the kiss was too short by far. Arthur had pulled away and grabbed his wrist, tugging him into the abandoned home. He couldn’t tell if he was just clumsy or something tripped him, but he fell to the ground and ended up pulling Arthur with him.

His friend didn’t seem to mind at all, if the way he was covering his body with his own indicated. “Arthur, we should probably talk--”

“You were the one that went straight to kissing.”

“...Yeah, I was, but I just wanted to--”

“Just like I want to do this.” And Arthur leaned down and kissed him again and all of Merlin’s carefully constructed speeches about his feelings disappeared. Strong, callused hands slid underneath his shirt and he gasped, leaning into the touch. That wrong feeling that had plagued him for so long disappeared, at least for the moment, to be replaced with something that felt so perfect that it stunned him. Everything fell in place to him and he knew that any plan he might make where he left Arthur was gone.

Arthur tugged off his traveling shirt and Merlin quickly pulled off his own, tossing it to the side. But instead of following suit, the prince bunched his up and slid underneath his head. He flushed just a little, the gesture surprisingly gentlemanly. “Merlin.”

He met Arthur’s eyes again as the prince loomed over him. “What?”

“Do you understand now why I can’t go back if you’re not there?”

He considered giving the prince a hard time about it, but there was such a vulnerable look staring back at him that he couldn’t. Arthur was being open with him, as open as he could without spelling it out for him, and he didn’t want that to go away. “Yeah.”

Arthur gripped his hips, tugging them up into his lap and Merlin watched as he quickly loosened the ties to their pants. He blushed a little at how rock solid he was, but it only seemed to encourage Arthur more. It was too dark to see many details, but he moaned as he felt something equally hard pressing against him. “What are--”

“We can do this right now. Don’t have the necessary...things for anything more.”

More? As he felt Arthur’s hand wrap around both of them and start rocking his hips, Merlin groaned. He didn’t know that much about it, but he had a really good guess what ‘more’ would entail. “Want to do that,” he whispered heatedly as he felt Arthur lean down to cover him again, kissing him fiercely.

A shudder went down Arthur’s spine and his movements sped up a bit. “So do I. I want to take you so bad. That all right with you?”

“More than all right,” Merlin muttered, wrapping his legs around Arthur’s waist and reaching between them to help stroke them, letting Arthur have whatever pace he wanted.

Arthur batted his hands away, though, urging them elsewhere. “Let me do this,” he told him, squeezing tightly and Merlin moaned loudly. “Gods, Merlin, I love you.”

He hadn’t expected to hear the words and it only made him throb worse. “Me too. I love you so much, Arthur!” His fingers twined in the short blonde hair and he kissed him as if he’d die without him. It could be true, with the way he felt, and the controlled movements faltered a little before picking up the pace. One hand gripped his hips tightly, pulling him closer into the almost-frantic pace of his hand and hips.

Arthur was quiet in his pleasure, letting out only a soft grunt as he brought them to completion, pressing his forehead against Merlin’s as he released onto their bare chests. Their soft panting as they came down from the high was the only sound for awhile. Arthur braced his weight on his elbows and Merlin met his eyes fearlessly. “What?”

“You really...wouldn’t mind...if I…” He shook his head, watching as the awed expression came to his friend’s face. “Why?”

“Why don’t I mind?” At the nod, Merlin thought about it. “I guess, because...it’s you.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Nope, not at all. Why do you want to?”

Arthur finally eased onto his side next to Merlin, staring at the thatched roof. “Because I want to...give you those sensations, to...pleasure you. I want to be the one to make you feel that way and I want to...hold you to do it.” The prince turned to look at him. “So you promise to stop trying to leave?”

“Yes. I don’t think I could bear to be away from you anymore, you prat.”

Arthur’s smile was like the sun itself, an almost childish pure delight. “Good. At least I’m not the only one feeling this way. Merlin, you make me want to be better than who I am.”

“I don’t know how much better you can be,” he told him honestly, before adding, “and don’t let that inflate your ego too much.”

A smirk came instead and he watched as Arthur moved closer to him, half over him. “I shouldn’t? When you’ve just admitted you can’t live without me anymore?”

“Stop looking so smug, you said you felt the same too.”

“I’m not denying that.” Little kisses were left along his throat and he let out a soft, shuddering breath. “But I don’t see why I can’t be smug that I have all of your attention.”

“Arthur,” he whined as those soft lips shifted down to his chest, nudging ever so softly at his nipples. A tongue made him gasp and he felt his body sluggishly respond to the sensations. “You should be sleeping!”

“In a bit. There’s something else I want to do to you before I can sleep.”

He made a muffled sound of pleasure as those lips shifted to the other side and he squirmed as all his blood went south. Those teasing fingers found his now hard flesh and lightly touched it, doing nothing but making it worse. “Arthur!”

Merlin realized what he was doing only when that mouth began to run along his stomach. “Wait, Arthur, don’t--”

But Arthur was there, wrapping his lips around him and he bucked up with a heated gasp before he could help it. Strong hands gripped his hips, holding him steady with seemingly no effort, and he couldn’t help but look down at the prince between his legs. “Gods, Arthur!” His whole back arched as his friend started to suck on him, sometimes pulling back to play with his tip. “You’re...way too good at this!”

“I have a vivid imagination,” Arthur told him with a smirk.

“But...what about...you?”

Arthur looked at him in surprise. “What about me?”

“I want to...with you...”

The prince looked surprisingly hesitant at that. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

His conviction must have showed, because Arthur shifted after a minute. He laid on his side with his legs near Merlin’s head so he could continue with what he was doing. Merlin flushed a little at seeing that hard flesh so close to him, but he didn’t hesitate as he leaned in. Arthur moaned around his flesh and he groaned in turn, gripping the prince’s hips tightly to pull him in deeper.

Merlin’s concentration wavered as he felt Arthur’s hands slip under the edge of his pants, pulling them down to his knees. A thumb pressed against his rear, massaging but not entering and he thrust up before he could help it.

“Shhh,” Arthur whispered, rubbing and pressing a little harder, focusing on massaging him. “Just trust me.”

“I do,” he moaned, only to let out a grunt instead of the shout he wanted when Arthur swallowed him again. He felt tense with an anticipation he knew wouldn’t be sated that night and instead, focused on giving that need right back to his partner. The shudder that went through Arthur emboldened him and he sucked harder, with the singular purpose of bringing him to climax.

His behavior only encouraged the prince and he whimpered helplessly in pleasure as Arthur responded in kind. If he thought he’d feel less needy, less frantic, for what Arthur could give him the second time around, he was mistaken. He still wanted just as fiercely, if not more so, and he couldn’t imagine losing this feeling. Arthur was gorgeous, there was no doubt to that fact, but it was his kind if somewhat sarcastic personality that made it all the better.

Arthur eased his thumb just inside, just a little, and it pushed Merlin over the edge, spilling into that waiting mouth before he could warn him to back away. Arthur coughed a bit, leaning back with a moan as Merlin sought to do the same to him. Arthur’s eyes were hazy as he leaned to the side just enough to look toward his legs to see what the sorcerer was doing, and his head fell back moment’s later when he orgasmed.

Merlin, for all the fact that he told himself he was prepared, wasn’t, and he coughed just like the prince before collapsing onto his back. “Arthur...”

Arthur was at his side, sliding an arm underneath Merlin’s shoulders and pulling him in close. His head automatically rested against that available shoulder and he felt fingers play into his black hair. “Tired.”

“Yeah, time to sleep,” the prince agreed.

“Didn’t know you were a cuddler,” he commented as he eyes struggled to remain open.

“...Only with you,” he heared as he fell asleep.

~*~


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur was up before Merlin, but he couldn’t help spending awhile just watching his manservant sleep plastered against his side. His arm was numb and he gently worked it free. It was just turning light and he had to get them ready before anyone saw them. He didn’t want to endanger Merlin’s life if it got out he was sleeping with a man.

Thankfully there was a barrel nearby that had filled up with rainwater sometime a night or two ago and he splashed it on his chest, trying to clean up the sticky mess. It was cold and he shivered a bit. Not wanting to wake Merlin prematurely, he returned to the hut to grab his neckerchief. Merlin could complain to him later, he needed something to soak up the water.

He was sure the cold water would wake Merlin, but he only moaned in protest as he cleaned him and carefully slid his shirt on him and pull his pants up. He used the opportunity to get his own out from under his manservant’s head. He stood, watching him quietly and he felt a smile come to his lips before he could stop it. He was sure he looked stupid and goofy, but Merlin did that to him.

Arthur stepped out, shirt half pulled on, when he heard someone approach and whirled. Color drained from his face as he saw Leon standing there. Quickly he yanked the shirt on completely. “Leon, you’re awake already. Merlin and I fell asleep here after our talk--”

“Sir, you don’t need to lie. It’s...pretty obvious.” Leon looked up a bit pointedly. “You might want to fix your hair.”

Embarrassed, he tried to pat the wild blonde strands back in some order. “Leon, it’s not--”

“If you say it’s not like that, I’m going to get upset.”

He blinked. “Why?”

“Sir...it might not be my place to say, but...Merlin, and yourself, deserve something better than ‘it’s not like that’. You clearly have feelings for him and he adores you. It’s not just for physical pleasure and you shouldn’t have to hide it.”

Arthur sighed and leaned against the outside wall. “Yes we do, Leon. Even if by some miracle that the others weren’t upset about it, others will be. He’s going to have difficulties as it is with his magic, I don’t want them turning on him because he’s with a man.”

“I don’t think he would care so long as he’s with you.”

“I know he wouldn’t, but I don’t want him to have to go through that.”

“So what’s your solution? Lie or refuse to touch me again?”

He jerked at hearing Merlin’s voice. Merlin was holding the soggy neckerchief in his hand, but his eyes were intense on Arthur. The prince spotted Gwaine and the others exiting the lodge, yawning, and this was not a conversation he wanted to have out in the open like this. “Merlin--”

But Merlin was nothing, if not impetuous, and Arthur let out a sound of surprise as the sorcerer leaned in and kissed him in full view of everyone, a hand sliding in his hair. Arthur responded before he could stop himself, tugging his manservant in closer and returning the kiss as if he was dying of thirst and Merlin was the only drink around.

He gentled it after a minute, ending it softly and letting their foreheads rest together. “You idiot,” he sighed.

“I’m not hiding this, Arthur. I love you and I don’t care who knows about it. And I’ll protect you if they turn on you, and you’ll protect me if they come after me. Right? Isn’t that the deal?”

What deal? Arthur shook his head in resignation. “Deal, you brat.”

Merlin’s smile made it at all worth it and he sighed.

“Well can’t say I was expecting that first thing in the morning,” Gwaine commented with a whistle. “Princess has a beau at last.”

Arthur glared at him, but he didn’t see anyone upset by it. Instead they seemed happy and Lancelot was practically beaming at them. Seeing his look, Lancelot just said, “I’m just glad you both are happy.”

He blushed and cleared his throat, tugging his shirt into place only to freeze as he heard the forest rustling. He didn’t have his sword, damn it, but the knights did and they ranged in front of him and Merlin with their blades drawn. He felt his heart sink as the soldiers came into view and there were a lot more than he thought there’d be. There was no way they could fight them off and most of their plans were contigencies. He had intended to move the villagers and he had hoped they’d have more time for that.

Merlin’s eyes glowed and he watched as his sword came flying from the lodge into his hand. The sorcerer turned and offered it to him reverently. ‘Be safe’ he mouthed.

Arthur nodded at him seriously, shifting his shirt one more time and stepped up next to the knights. He knew that fighting without his armor was dangerous, potentially deadly, but it would take too much time to go back for it and get it on. He’d have to trust that Merlin could protect him.

He braced himself as they started to charge and met a blade with a parry of his own. He’d taught these men, knew how they fought, but they also knew him. He didn’t sense any killing intent in them, but they were following orders regardless and he couldn’t fault them. They had sworn their allegience to the king.

A back hit his, but it wasn’t wearing armor. Merlin was there with him, right in the thick of it. He kept an eye on his partner, noting that nothing he did was lethal. He did everything he could to avoid killing and so did the knights, but they wouldn’t win the battle without intending to kill. It hurt like hell to be fighting his knights, his friends, his comrades this way. They were only following orders, it was the law, but the people hiding in their homes behind him needed his help. If they fell, there would be nothing protecting them.

Arthur wasn’t sure how long the battle went on, but he felt his arms tiring. Unconscious soldiers littered around the battlefield, but there were always more to replace them. “Should I call Kilgharrah?” Merlin called to him from a few feet away.

It was something that they’d talked about if things became dire, but he kenw that had been back when he thought there might be some miracle in the wings that would stop this from being a bloodbath. He was wrong. There was nothing he could see that could stop this before that point.

Just as he was about to yell to change tactics, he heard a shout of ‘stop’, but it didn’t come from those fighting. A horse frantically charged into the fray, knocking knights out the way, and his eyes widened at seeing Gwen and Gaius clinging to her back. “Stop! You’re attacking your new king!” Gwen shouted to be heard.

All fighting ceased and Gaius held up a scroll with the seal of the royal family. “Uther Pendragon has died and in his will, he has given the kingdom of Camelot to his son, Arthur Pendragon!”

He felt his stomach drop to his feet and the two dismounted, hurrying to him. “What? Uther’s dead?! Gaius, I abdicated!”

“That doesn’t matter, sire,” Gaius said quietly as the soldiers dropped to their knee in fealty. “You must take it, and we must return as quickly as possible before Morgana takes the throne. She’s already getting into position for it.”

“Did she…?” Merlin asked.

Gaius hesitated. “I have no proof that it was her and I was watching. It looks like a heart attack is all I can say. But if she _did_ do it, then we must move even more quickly before she becomes queen.”

“Why isn’t she already?” Elyan asked.

“Because of the will,” Gwen explained hurriedly. “He specifically named Arthur as heir and new king of Camelot. By law, if the next in line isn’t there immediately on the death, there is a window of one month to get them back to Camelot for the coronation. If he’s not there, she has the right to challenge free and clear. Why not wait it out and appear to play by the law in that case?”

“When did he die then?”

“About three weeks ago, just shortly after Arthur left,” Gaius answered Gwaine. “Which means that you have a week to get back.”

“That’s impossible,” Arthur told him. “It takes almost a month on horseback just to get here!”

“There’s a faster way,” Merlin told him and backed up, looking at the sky. He shouted in a language that Arthur had never heard. He wanted a few minutes before there was an answering roar. Heavy beatings broke the air and he watched in stunned amazement as a familiar dragon soared above the village before landing with a heavy crash.

“You’re nearby.”

“After what’s happened, I thought it wise.”

“We need to get Arthur to the palace as fast as we can. Uther’s dead and if he’s going to be king, he has to be there within a week. Can you take him?”

“I’m not leaving without you,” Arthur argued with him.

“There’s no faster way than flying!”

Kilgharrah growled. “I can take both, but it will not be as fast with one. But only two.”

He glanced at the knights. If there was going to be a confrontation with Morgana, he’d rather they were there, but if he took one, he’d have to leave Merlin behind and he wouldn’t do that. “Fine, let’s go.”

“Arthur, wait.”

Arthur paused at Gwen’s hand on his arm. “Be careful.”

He nodded, shrugging off her arm and missing her surprised look. He had always argued with Merlin about his feelings for her, and he wasn’t sure what it was. He’d felt close to her and he was very attached to her, but it wasn’t like what he felt for Merlin. He had not intended to court her as a cover, and he wasn’t sure that their conversations had been courting. They had been in that nebulous area where neither was sure what they were doing.

Now he knew that he cared for her deeply as a friend, but nothing more.

The dragon lowered his head and he slid up at his shoulderblades, pulling Merlin up in front of him. Kilgharrah grunted at the extra weight, but burst into the air with a jump and great beats of his wings. “Do you think we can make it in a week?” he asked, arms tightening around the sorcerer’s waist to make sure he wouldn’t fall.

“Kilgharrah is fast, he should be able to get us there in a few days.” There was a pause before Merlin asked, “What’s going to happen when you become king?”

“I’ll repeal the ban on magic,” Arthur told him, but he knew that wasn’t his friend was asking. “And the rest is up to you. You don’t have to be my manservant and...”

“You’ll have to get married to have a child.”

“Or I could adopt someone.” He tugged Merlin’s chin to the side so he could kiss him just a little. “The position of lover, or royal consort, is always open for you.”

“You could change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

Merlin smiled slowly at him and he knew then without words that Merlin would take the position. Honestly, while he’d been nervous, he hadn’t thought his partner would do anything but take it. “I love you, Merlin.”

“I love you too, Arthur Pendragon. My king.”

It took three days to reach Camelot and Kilgarrah didn’t set them down on the edge of the city, but instead flew right into the courtyard, landing with a roar to clear the ground. Shrieks of fear met them and knights that hadn’t been sent with the troops came pouring out, but they lowered their swords when Arthur dismounted. He reached out and helped Merlin down even though the man complained loudly about him doing so.

“I’m here for the coronation.”

“So we can see.”

He looked up at the top of the stairs to see Morgana standing there with her hands clasped on her elbows. She was impeccably dressed, hair done so elaborately that he thought she had been preparing to take her place as queen. But there was no indication she was angry he was there, but that had been her greatest strength. He had never known what she was thinking from just her expression.

He escorted Merlin and Morgana inside and all the servants bowed as they passed. As soon as he entered the throne room, he waved everyone out and turned to Morgana. He couldn’t take the throne without knowing where she stood and whether she had killed Uther. “Morgana, did you kill him?”

She gasped. “Arthur--”

“Let’s not pretend.”

Morgana’s lips pursed and she looked at Merlin crossly before she crossed her arms. “Fine. We’re getting it all out of the way then, are we?”

“Yes. Did you kill Uther?”

“No. Much as I had plans for him, I didn’t. Does that mean others could have done it? Yes, I suppose. _If_ he was murdered, it wasn’t by me. But you know, Arthur, he wasn’t doing well. Your confrontation with him in the courtyard and your defense of a _sorcerer_ ,” She looked at Merlin then, “aged him quickly. He never recovered from your departure.”

“And the throne?”

“What about it?”

“You want it, don’t you?”

She looked at the seat long and hard, nodding. “Of course. I deserve it, after everything. He was my father, bastard that he was. I have as much claim to it as you do.”

“Are you going to fight me for it?”

Morgana met his eyes fearlessly, challenging him. “That depends on what you’re going to do. You defended a sorcerer, went to protect others of my kind.”

“Morgana, there is no ‘our kind’, there’s just the people of Camelot, and they’ll _all_ be treated fairly. Those with magic and those without. I plan to repeal the ban on magic, but that doesn’t give sorcerers free reign. If they break other laws or they hurt others, they’ll be punished just the same as regular people will. No one is getting special treatment.”

“Except Merlin?”

He flushed a little, but kept his head high. “Merlin wouldn’t break the law or hurt others.”

“So he didn’t tell you he tried to kill me.”

“He did and he was justified in it. You were trying to kill everyone in Camelot, Morgana.”

“Not everyone. Just Uther and a few others.”

Arthur growled a little at her glibness and how little she was taking it seriously. “Morgana! I need to know right now where we stand and what you’re going to do.”

She sighed. “I’ll accept your rule, but if I see you going to Uther’s ways, I will do to you what I planned to do to him. My people have suffered enough at the hands of the kings of Camelot.”

Arthur glanced at Merlin, who nodded. She seemed perfectly honest about it and while he didn’t get the sense she liked either of them, Merlin being a sorcerer and his future repeal on the ban of magic seemed to go a long way to preventing a civil war. “I’m not asking you to forgive Uther. I don’t think I can either. But I am asking that you talk to us about concerns and realize that no one is getting special treatment. Don’t become upset if a sorcerer is punished for misdeeds.”

“I recognize that,” she said with a soft and tired sigh, as if the tension and hatred that had sustained her had eased. “I just don’t want to see anymore innocent people suffering just because of how they were born.”

“Then we’re in agreement.”

Morgana turned and headed for the door, closing it softly behind her and he dropped into the throne with a heavy sigh. “I want to trust her, Merlin, and I hope I’m right in doing so.”

“Time will tell, but...it feels right again,” he told him. “That wrong feeling is gone now, for what it’s worth. I’m not sure it’s worth much, but...”

Arthur smiled. “It’s worth a lot, Merlin. Now, since I’m here, we’ll have to make sure to postpone the coronation until everyone gets back. The castle is a mess.”

“Just don’t expect me to clean it up.”

“Isn’t that what magic is for?” he teased.

Merlin glared at him, but his lips curled up anyway.

~*~

The coronation went off without a problem and Morgana had even smiled at one point, Merlin noted. No one seemed horrified at the thought that he had magic; there was more twittering than anything else that he was named royal consort. Gwen had seemed stunned, a little out of sorts, but she had been in support of it all, and Gaius had only stared at him in that ‘knowing’ way of his, like he had expected this all along.

As the ceremony continued on into the night, Arthur nudged him quietly out of the banquet room. “I think we’ve had enough company for awhile, don’t you?”

Merlin shivered at the whispered words in his ear as they headed toward the king’s room. In the month it had taken for the knights and Gwen and Gaius to come back to the palace, there had just been too much to do to focus on anything other than collapsing into an exhausted sleep at night. And Merlin had been too nervous to stay in the king’s room consistently.

“At least it’s all over,” Merlin muttered inanely as the door closed behind him and Arthur shed the long cloak over a chair.

“Yes,” Arthur murmured, coming up behind him and kissing the side of his neck.

He hissed in pleasure, watching as Arthur’s hands came around his front, tugging jacket off and loosening the laces on his shirt. “You sure about this?”

“Are you?” was the reply as the king divested them of the heavy outerwear and shoes.

Merlin was nervous now, in a way he hadn’t before in that little rundown and empty home. The room was intimidating, Arthur was intimidating, and it just felt different. “Do you want to stop?”

At Arthur’s question, he looked at the king standing next to the bed in just his pants. “No, it’s not that. It’s just...”

“Just what?”

“It feels...different than before. You’re...not just Arthur, you’re King Arthur, and this is the _king’s room_ and--”

“You’re putting too much emphasis on what it means than what it is. I’m still me and this is just a room, Merlin.” Arthur reached for his hand and pulled him close. “Here, I have an idea. Get on the bed.”

He turned bright red, but did as he was told. Arthur didn’t follow him, but went to each of the four corners of the bed, tugging at the ropes. The curtains fell with a heavy woosh on all sides, leaving him in the dark. He had never seen Arthur use them before, so he often forgot they were there. The king eased into the enclosed space a moment later. “Better? You can’t see the room.”

It wasn’t so much that he was blocked from seeing the room, but that Arthur had done it to make him feel more comfortable that helped. “Better,” he said, “but I can’t see you.”

“Merlin--”

He whispered a word and a soft light hovered at the top of the canopy. It wasn’t bright, but gave off the feeling of moonlight, just enough to see Arthur. “This is better. I want to see you.”

Arthur smiled at him indulgently and eased over him, pulling off his shirt and tossing to the side. “You ready?”

“To do more? Yeah. More than ready.”

The king slipped his mother’s ring from his finger before sliding it onto Merlin’s despite his protest. “Don’t lose that.”

“It’s your heart; of course I won’t!”

Arthur blushed and gave him a look at that line, but he couldn’t help it. Fingers tugged at his pants, sliding them down until Merlin was bare before him. Blue eyes couldn’t leave him and Merlin squirmed under the visual stare. “A-Arthur...”

“I just want to see you so bad.” He felt those hands slide up his thighs, but they didn’t stop at his waist. Instead they caressed him up his chest, to his back and shoulders, and his neck, before going back down. “I’ve been dreaming of this for awhile, so let me indulge.”

“Only if I can,” Merlin told him, reaching out and tugging what remained of the king’s clothing until they were both nude. For awhile, they merely touched, taking the time now that they were allowed it. Unlike before, Arthur’s kisses were soft and tender, caressing with a deep intimacy. When Merlin deepened it a little, he sensed cracks in his partner’s calm facade, the way he leaned his hips and their tips brushed.

“Arthur...”

“I know,” he moaned and reached for something outside the curtains, bringing back a jar. “Open your legs for me.”

Merlin did so with only a small mount of embarrassment. Wet fingers ran along his entrance, being careful about how much pressure he put, but unlike before, one slid in almost immediately. It felt strange, to be so opened like this, and Arthur tried to keep him distracted with kisses. He cried out every time those fingers touched something deep inside, but the king was taking his time. “T-Thank you,” he muttered abruptly.

Arthur blinked, two fingers twisting just a little as he opened Merlin up further. “For what?”

“Keeping my secred...from Uther. For protecting me,” he muttered. “I never told you.”

“You didn’t have to,” Arthur told him, fingers retreating to dip into more oil and Merlin watched as he stroked himself with it. “I knew. Now...still ready?”

“Oh yeah,” he muttered, legs sliding wider as Arthur gripped his hips and pulled them into his lap again. Despite the fact that there had just been fingers in him, he gasped as something a lot harder replaced them. Pain made him groan as despite the preparation, he was pushed wider. But Arthur was as gentle as he could be, pausing several times, until he was fully resting inside.

“Gods,” the king whimpered above him. “ _Gods_ , you’re tight. Can I move?”

“Not yet.” Merlin sat up, bracing himself on his knees in his lap. “Now move.”

Athur stared up at him and his arms tightly wrapped around Merlin’s chest. “Naughty,” he laughed breathily and started to thrust up with careful, slow movements.

“I want to see you, remember?” Merlin grunted, easing his hips into Arthur’s as the stinging pain faded. He yelped as Arthur landed against him in just the right way, and it only encouraged the king further. His hands twined in those short blonde locks, dislodging the crown from its perfect seat, but he didn’t care and neither did Arthur, it seemed. There was a heavenly, glazed look to his eyes and he whimpered Merlin’s name.

“Let me stay,” he moaned, his cock rubbing against Arthur’s stomach. The intimidating feeling of the room had vanished. Arthur was right, as always: it wasn’t that the room was important, it was because it was Arthur that made it feel that way.

“Stay, please stay, forever,” Arthur told him, almost seeming to beg him to. “Can I go harder now?”

“Yeah.”

Arthur toppled them back over onto the bed and Merlin yelled a little as Arthur really began to thrust, holding his hips up at just the right angle. He felt his entire body begin to sing to the pleasure and he only made louder noises when familiar fingers gripped him tightly. All he could get out was Arthur’s name, and sometimes not even that. It was the most incredible thing he’d ever felt.

His arms wrapped around Arthur’s shoulders as he felt pushed inexorably to a climax he half-wished he wouldn’t reach. He wanted this to last as long as possible, this perfect moment when they were as close to being the same person as they could get. As if reading his mind, Arthur whispered in his ear heatedly, “See, that’s the fun part about this, Merlin. We get to do it over and over to reach that perfection.”

Merlin tilted his head back, feeling the king leave a love bite on his neck, and he yelled as his climax hit him hard. There was only a faint grunt in his ear from Arthur as he thrust, whimpering at every clench of Merlin’s muscles around him, before he pushed in one more time and let go.

As Arthur collapsed on him, Merlin’s eyes glowed and the curtains pulled back instantly, tying themselves to the posts. Arthur’s head lifted lazily at that and made an inquisitive sound, rather than words.

“Too hot with the curtains closed,” he explained. At the smirk, he flushed and smacked the man’s shoulder. “Not that way!”

Finally the king eased out and flopped next to him. His arm came out and Merlin automatically curled up at his side as he had before. Spotting the crown, he pulled it off entirely and studied it. “You don’t need a crown to look like a king,” he said at last, arm going limp over Arthur’s chest and the heavy metal hanging from mostly lax fingers. “You were always a king to me even before.”

Arthur kissed his forehead. “And you don’t need a title to know I love you.”

He smiled and lifted his head to steal a soft kiss as they relaxed, the crown dropping to the floor.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also. Immortals from Fall Out Boy is so Merthur. :P


End file.
